Embrace Your Flaws

Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink, and everything in between!

Recently, my good friend Jenny Hansen over at More Cowbell, posted about her decision to stop beating herself up, and start seeing the good in herself.

This post led to discussions in the comments section about everyone’s various self-inflicted wounds, in which I participated. Go read the post, and the comments, then come back. We’ll wait.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Welcome back.

So, I’d shared something that I don’t normally enjoy talking about, but I’d wanted to support my friend by giving her something of myself. Jenny then encouraged me to share this particular pain on my blog. Apparently she thinks I enjoy this level of discomfort.

And I suppose since I’m now posting the very thing she encouraged me to, I do enjoy it.

Or, maybe she realizes the healing power that talking about it and sharing it with others will bring to me.

Or maybe she’s reading this, and laughing her tukus off.

ANYWAY! Yes, I’m stalling…

What I’m really trying not to talk about is the adult acne I’ve been cursed with had since around the time I turned 25 years of age.

I do not have a clear enough photo of myself handy to show you exactly what I’ve been dealing with, but this comes close (and, ok, I’m also just not that comfortable posting it for the world to see. Yep, just not that brave yet.):

Note ~ You may find yourself glancing from the post to my blog photo, and scratching your head wondering what’s going on so allow me to share that I’m wearing about a pound of foundation in that photo. Moving on…

I’d never had acne as a teen, and only a minor blemish here and there as a young adult.  It was right about 25 when all of a sudden I broke out in the area on either side of my mouth and chin.

And I mean, break outs: large puss filled cavities in my face. Huge, red, painful lumps the size of a dime or larger, and every time I speak or move my mouth I feel the lumps painfully stretching my skin.

Over the years I’d tried everything from washing my face 2 or 3 times a day, to not touching it at all (which I wasn’t very good at), to rubbing various vegetable and fruit juices on my face, popping only the whiteheads (yes, I know, I know)…you name it, I tried it.

Nothing worked.

It just…got…worse.

I was ugly. Unattractive. Gross.

These were the thoughts going through my head every single time I looked at myself in the mirror. Then, I’d stopped seeing myself in the mirror and instead only saw swollen, red sores and scars.

Real uplifting stuff.

Then, one day a few weeks back, I decided enough was enough.

I’m NOT ugly! And more importantly, I’m a good person! I’m friendly (most of the time), helpful (when you’re nice to me), and I love to laugh. I enjoy being around other friendly, helpful, laughing people. There was no excuse for how I was treating myself. I deserve better.

This acne, these pustules, were ruining me. I was allowing this condition to control, not only my life, but my personality, and it’s ugly, scathing hands were reaching down into my soul. I went from a fairly bubbly, happy albeit-slightly-moody person, to this miserable, cranky depressed woman who I didn’t like.

So, as of now, I’ve politely asked that hag to leave and have instead welcomed a new, more positive me into my life. I’m taking better care of myself, and with the help of family and friends am trying new ways to beat back the acne.

Interesting aside ~ I’d always thought having acne in this area was a sign of a hormonal imbalance, but a friend told me she’d learned from a specialist this is my body’s way of telling me I have toxins building up in my kidneys and liver. Considering how much I was abusing myself in my early twenties (that’s a WHOLE other post!), it makes sense that my body would start yelling at me when it did. And what a way to get my attention!

Now that I’m thoroughly uncomfortable and twitchy, and really questioning my decision to post this, it’s your turn…

So talk to me. What flaws do you agonize over? What is your problem with the mirror? Have you decided that enough is enough? Are you struggling with self-inflicted pain? Do you beat yourself up, and say things to yourself you would NEVER say to someone you love?

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49 thoughts on “Embrace Your Flaws

  1. {hugs} I know exactly how you feel. I have scars at my temples from my battle with adult acne. I went through years of acne around my mouth, on my chin. Now it mostly pops up along my jaw and down my neck.

    Before my wedding, I even went to the extreme of taking Accutane…thank god I didn’t, haven’t suffered any of the side-effects.

    I’ve built up a resistance to products like Proactive. These days, I try to focus on eating right, drinking water, washing with a good non-drying soap (not antibacterial!) twice a day, and using a mineral (powder) foundation. But the biggest thing I’ve found that helps is minimizing my stress.

    But you asked about flaws…that would be my weight. That has been the up and down roller coaster of my life. I know my diet isn’t the problem. The numerous sedentary jobs, the four kids, the sedentary hobbies… Lack of exercise is, which became worse when I started staying home, and yes that is my goal this year. Not so much to lose weight, though that’ll happen, but to get healthy via exercise.

    Good luck with your battle Kate!!

    1. Thanks Raelyn! I really appreciate your sharing your story.

      My aunt suggested Accutane; she’d taken it and it worked for her. I’ve thought about it, but I don’t even feel comfortable taking Advil sometimes!

      I’m on the fence with Proactiv. I’m using it now, but I’m starting to wonder if the side effects are worth it. I had to go through almost a week of intense burning, initially – in fact, my eyelids are still burned from it…It looks like I’m wearing orange tinted eye shadow! Then, after that subsided (but not completely!), my face started drying out and flaking constantly, so now I have to apply moisturizer constantly throughout the day. I do see a difference: Some of the “pits” in my face have cleared up, the blemishes I get are healing very quickly, and overall my skin looks healthier (but that might be blood at the surface of my skin from the burning!! LOL). I just worry that the burning will ultimately cause more damage than the acne did originally!

      1. Do not take Accutane until you’ve researched it to your level of comfort!

        I’m not saying don’t take it because it may be just the ticket. But there are a lot of side effects. There have been a lot of lawsuits. You have to be on birth control while taking it because the risks to the baby are astronomical. When I took it, Red Cross required you to be off it for a min of 1 month before you could donate blood. At one point that had been upped to 3 months, I think it was, and I’m not sure where it stands now.

        It did what I needed it to do. I will never take it again because a second round would compound the side effects. I have more problems now than before taking the drug with ingrown hair, especially on my legs, however I have no idea if that’s from Accutane.

        Talk to a doctor. Research. Sit down and go through the Pro’s and Con’s. And if you want more info on my experience with Accutane go ahead an drop me an email. All the best.

      2. I will definitely do LOTS of research before even considering taking something like that. I’m done with the whole reproducing thing, so that’s not a worry, but I’ve got plenty of organs in me that need to be thought of 😛 Thanks again Raelyn!

      3. I used Proactiv for years, starting in High School up until about a month ago. I built up a bit of a resistance too and just switched to Clinique’s Acne solutions. I feel your pain that the product totally dries your skin up. It helps, I’d suggest sticking with it, but I also had to find what schedule worked for my skin best to keep it moisturized as well. For example, I only used the Proactive lotion every other day and alternated it with a more moisturizing Clean and Clear lotion. I also used a skin serum like Estee Lauder’s Advanced Night Repair underneath the lotion. I really like that product because it locks moisture in to your skin and helps cells rejuvinate at night. The other go to products I carried in my purse that were lifesavers are Clinique’s Moisture Surge (a gel that can go on over make up so it is light enough not to clog pores but helps with any peeling/burns) and their Acne Solutions concealer so you can pinpoint your coverage where you want it.

        I know exactly how frustrating this condition is. I had flare ups all over my cheeks and now they’re around my jawline. It’s definitely a tough thing to overcome because when it’s on your face, you can’t hide it, never as much as we want to right? And stress doesn’t help. I love that you’re focusing on the smart and amazing qualities about you to overcome this confidence barrier. Keep that up, Kate! And remember you’re not alone in this battle. Even when there are days you think “why me?” others are looking at you thinking “I wish I was her!”

      4. Thank you so much for reaching out, Jess. It certainly helps knowing that I’m not the only one struggling with this.

        I’ve tried almost every product in the skin care aisle, and nothing has worked. The only thing that’s shown any change is the Proactiv. I’ve only been using it for about a month, so I’m going to try to be patient and see if I can get the burning and dryness under control.

        I think that may be one of my biggest problems – lack of patience. I’ve been living with this for so long, I’m just tired of it. I’m tired of feeling like this, I’m tired of fighting it, I’m just done. I have to learn to be zen, and allow my body to adjust and work with it to fix this. Now, putting words into action is another story… 😛

        Thanks for the tips, and I’ll definitely be looking into the products you’ve suggested!

  2. I’ve been there, for a very long time; I’ve had pus pockets and boils – all over my body- since I was little. Once I switched up my diet, and started doing tai chi,kung-fu, and natural healing , those issues have gone bye bye for good:)) Great post and I look forward to sharing more with you:))

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this, Jon! I couldn’t imagine doing tai chi AND kung-fu…I can barely handle the elliptical and the various machines at the gym! 😛 What were the natural healing methods you chose?

  3. Love this post, Kate! Kudos to Jenny for making you get all naked, uncomfortable and twitchy on the page. Heh. Love ya. 🙂

    You are not alone with this. I was blessed to not have acne growing up as well, but it spawned on me after college. I don’t have as many breakouts now (change of diet over the years has helped or maybe hormonal changes as I get older), but I have the after effects of picking and or popping some. Oops.

    I never saw it as something stopping me or making me feel bad about myself. I just tried different treatments, figured out what process and skincare items work for me and then put on foundation to cover any marks. In fact, I have people tell me all the time how nice my complexion and skin are. Heh. The skin is actually better. The beauty of this is that people are able to see me shine through.

    One day, I might invest in something that works for sensitive skin to zap the remaining marks so I can tool around without foundation on, but for now it is what it is and life goes on. I’m glad you have moved to a positive area with it and are still working on ways to fight it. I’m going to look into your comments about toxins…think that is totally true. I ate/drank crapola in college and then they showed up.

    1. Your wisdom and support means a lot, Barbara 🙂

      I’ve never been much of a make-up girl; it’s fun to dress up sometimes, but for the most part I don’t like the hassle. I’ve tried using the foundation to cover up the acne and it’s after-effects, but to me it just looks like I’m trying to hide it and somehow that just seems worse lol Either that, or I’m so unskilled in the make-up department from lack of use that I’m doing it wrong, which is a very real possibility! LOL

      1. I’ve been told that foundation is the most important investment for makeup. The trick is to find one that has the coverage you need and is a near perfect blend to your skin tone. I use a stick foundation by Iman because she’s got a great range for ethnic skin tones. Bobbi Brown has a stick foundation and great range of shades for everyone. Their makeup counter folks are cool and will show you application tips for free. MAC folks are cool too, but I’m not sure about what their foundation line offers.

        I’m not big on tons of daily makeup either so my routine is just the foundation, lipstick and eyebrows. It makes me look natural and alive (I feel naked and zombie-like without lipstick). If I want to get fancy, I’ll toss on some eyeshadow or a touch of eyeliner.

      2. I think one of the biggest reasons I don’t wear foundation is because it’s a bit intimidating trying to find the perfect shade. It’s not as if I can stand in the aisle trying this or that shade. Some brands have the “test” stuff, but who knows how many people have tested it out before me? Plus, I’m really cheap and the thought of wasting all that money trying to find the right brand/shade makes me twitch 😛 Thanks for the tips, Barbara, I’m gonna have to look into them.

  4. Kate, I totally understand. I also have adult acne, though I’ve had mine since I turned 13, it’s just never gone away. And on those days where the breakouts are ten times worse, yes, I feel wretched and ugly and don’t want to leave the house. It has gotten better since I started taking better care of my health–giving up gluten after being allergic to it for 8 years. Hah, who knew damaged intestines could lead to skin problems.

    You are so brave to talk about this. I’ve wanted to rant, wallow, whatever before, but it’s not something you just talk about.

    (Btw, if you’re interested, my current regime is Vitamin C 500mg twice a day, Zinc 30mg once a day, and Neem soap. That’s from my “alternative medicine” doctor who I go to for everything since Western solutions have never worked for me. Something else I didn’t know until recently, if you’re on BC, you need to be taking a complex B-vitamin, or your skin will suffer from the hormone thing as well.)

    1. Thank you for sharing, Angela. It’s comforting to know we’re not alone, eh?

      I’m not brave. Nope. I kept waking up last night thinking I was really lame for writing this post and wanting to delete it. I am glad that I didn’t give in to my fear, though, because I do believe that things like this should be shared and spoken of. To share, and to voice our fears and shame out loud helps to release that toxicity, and allows us to move forward.

      I AM interested…thanks so much!

  5. Oh Kate – HUGS!! I am thrilled to hear you are kicking your negativity to the curb and embracing your beauty – all of it – because you are beautiful!!!
    I was born with a large brown birth mark just above my knee. It’s horrid. It looks like a severe bruise. Everytime I wear shorts, people stare and someone ALWAYS asks me “what happened to your knee???” For years I let it bother me. I wore pants, I refused to let anyone see it. And I considered surgery to have it removed.
    Then one day, like you, I just decided to embrace it. Whatever. It is what it is and I wasn’t going to let it control me or make me feel less ANY MORE!
    Amen to THAT!

    1. Natalie! Thank you for your support and caring! We (people in general) waste WAY too much valuable time and energy worrying over superficial things like that, that just do not matter in the end 🙂

  6. Good for you, Kate! We all can appreciate the courage it took to finally stand up to something that has been bullying you for years. Go to August’s blog and read some of the posts from her “Beauty” Blogfest – you will hear yourself there! Even though we are all obsessed with what we show on the outside, it’s really the inside that counts. You have such a beautiful smile and gorgeous eyes that I’ll bet most people don’t notice anything else!

  7. Kate, I am so, so proud of you for this post!! And you are so very pretty. Stop being so hard on that face of yours – no one else sees what you do.

    You know my battle these days – weight. I never really had to fight it before my stint in bed with blood clots and I’m having to learn how to look past those extra 30 pounds to the real me in the mirror. No one else really notices it the way I do and I need to just be kind to this body of mine that has been through so much.

    Now I’m trying to get well so I can see you at OCC this weekend without spreading cooties!!

    1. I really appreciate your support, Jen, and thank you for sharing a bit of your own struggle. Our society focuses too much on superficial, meaningless things and we’ve forgotten what true beauty looks like. Slowly, but surely, that’s starting to change, and the more we talk about these things and support each other, the faster that change will be realized.

      Yes! Hurry up and get better…you only have 1 1/2 days!! 😛

  8. Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this post, Kate. It’s close to my heart, because I’ve been exchanging private emails with another blogger lately about really wanting to get vulnerable and open about issues like this on our blogs, but struggling to find the courage. For me, I’m struggling with the changes to my body now I’m pregnant. On the one hand, it is beautiful and I love how my body just ‘knows’ what to do to make a child. But I’ve also never felt so out of control, and a lot of my old weight insecurities are popping up (I’m not one of those women who you can’t tell are pregnant until they turn on the side). I’d put on some weight in the past year and hoped to get it off before I fell pregnant. Pregnancy happened faster than expected, and now of course for the health of the baby, I can’t commit to all my usual exercise & eating regimes. I’ve never felt so unable to control how I look, and therefore so judgmental of myself (at least, not since high school, when I DID have acne, and that’s a whole other story).

    1. Posting my Fear series has really helped me to not only be able to objectively see my fears and work through them, but it’s also given me the courage to be more open with people.

      That said, this post was REALLY difficult for me. I appreciate your kind words and support, Naomi.

      Having had two children, and gaining A LOT of weight with both of them, I empathize with how you are feeling. Know that you are not alone, and that there are options for you. And remember to, with growing babies, gaining healthy weight is the name of the game. The key is understanding, accepting, and respecting the differences between healthy weight and unhealthy weight.

      On the right-hand side of my page, towards the bottom, you’ll see a link called “MBS Health Coach.” (Mind, Body, & Soul Health Coach) Click that link. The name of the woman on the other end is April Kurtyka. She specializes, not only in healthy living – including self-esteem and confidence, but also in pregnancy, birth and everything that goes along with motherhood. She has a Facebook page, and she & her husband, Steve, also have a website/online store called Confident Beginnings. You should check that out as well. If you have any issues getting in contact with her, let me know.

  9. Holy crap ya mean I’m not the only one?! Go figure…I had perfect skin as a teenager and young adult, then my face turned into a minefield in my late 30s. Dark brown scars on cheeks, chin, around mouth…urk. Change in diet helped but Dr. Murad products worked incredibly well to lighten and even eliminate most of the dark pigment. The skin care products are at Sephora or the website and a bit pricy but they DO seem to work!

  10. You are gorgeous!

    And I love how you put this out there. It’s interesting that naming a fear lessens it.

    This is going to sound crazy, but for the longest time I was afraid of dying. After having kids. It’s complicated. I’m the breadwinner, so I feared for the wellbeing. My own mom “should have” died when I was one (brain aneurysm). When my twins were five, I had a series of undiagnosed health problems. I’ve since come to terms with it a bit more. Crazy, huh?

    1. It doesn’t sound crazy at all. Our fears are signals from deep within us, trying to get our attention so we can deal with whatever is holding us back or blocking us. I’ve had a recurring problem with being afraid that someone is going to break into my house and murder either me, or my kids in front of me, or all of us…its pretty gruesome, and it used to be an every night occurrence. I couldn’t even be in alone in my house. Its not as bad as it used to be, and I’m not entirely sure what the problem is yet, but the more I look inside myself, and the more open I am, the better I feel. I know I’m on the right track, at least 😛

      Thanks for sharing Leanne!

  11. Clearly I’m a little late to the party, but I hope it’s still alright for me to join in.

    I had no idea so many others suffered from adult onset acne. Even as a teen, I had fairly clear skin, but when I hit 24, it was like my body decided to betray me. I couldn’t even touch my skin because it was so sore, and I still have scarring. I tried Proactive (and every other wash or cream anyone said might work). I tried Clindoxil gel (which helped some but still didn’t fix the problem). I tried homeopathic rememdies, including mushroom capsules (through which I discovered I’m allergic to mushrooms). I hated going out in public even wearing make-up because I knew it didn’t hide it all.

    For me the problem turned out to be a combination hormone imbalance and nutrient deficiency. When I gained 5-10 pounds (which still left me at a healthy weight for me size), started taking birth control pills, and Omega-3 capsules, my skin cleared up. None of those on their own worked, but something about the combination helps. I hope you find what works for you. It can take a lot of trial and error so never lose hope!

    1. No worries, you’re not late…and even if you were, better late than never, right?

      Your story is very interesting. How did you find out that it was a hormone imbalance?

      I appreciate your advice and support, Marcy, thank you!!

  12. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have struggled with acne since puberty. I always thought it would go away when I reached adulthood, but I was wrong, wrong, wrong. It is so embarrassing. And not only do I get terrible breakouts all over my face, I get them on my back, too. And I live in Florida, so during tank top and swimsuit weather (9 out of 12 months of the year) I never know if I am going to be able to participate or cover up. I hate it. But you are right, it doesn’t mean we are ugly, even if that is difficult to remember in the midst of a breakout. Good luck on your quest for clear skin! Never give up and neither will I.

    1. UGH…that sucks so much. I’m in sunny SoCal, so I know what it means to be in hot weather and have to be miserable and covered up because of the acne. Yeah…its not just on my face 😦

      You’re a beautiful woman, Jessica, inspite of the acne. We’ll be strong together! 😛

  13. Sounds like you ended up with a pretty good support group by acknowledging your fear and flaw(?). I struggle with my weight. Three of my four close family members would have fallen into the morbid or super obese categories. I haven’t gotten to that point and I hope not to. This year is about serious lifestyle changes as I turn the big 4-0 this year. My biggest fear is dying young. My mother had a massive heart attack at 42 and I pray that doesn’t happen to me. Though overweight, I’ve always been in better shape than most of my mom’s side of the family.

    Thanks for sharing your fear and it sounds like you’re taking the steps to make yourself feel better. Good Luck!! And I may take your lead with kicking the witchy person to the curb – though that may be the diet talking!

    Melanie

    1. The quickest way to beat your fear is to face it, and if you fear dying young from an unhealthy lifestyle, dieting and exercising is the first and biggest step! GOOD FOR YOU, MELANIE!!! You do not have to follow in the footsteps of your family, even though you love and cherish them. You don’t have to make the same mistakes. Cherish your body, and yourself – you are 100% worth it!

      Make the choice to be healthy, and stick to it no matter what. Something you may want to look into, and you may have seen me share this with Naomi in an earlier comment, click the link to the MBS Health Coach listed on the right. There’s so much wonderful information to be found there, not to mention caring people who are waiting to help and support you. You already have my unconditional support 🙂

  14. Oh Kate I am soo glad that your friend told you it was from toxins because she’s exactly right. That was the first thing I thought of before I scrolled down the page reading the rest of your post. In chinese medicine, it’s heat/inflammation coming mainly from your liver, but it could be coming from your kidneys. And to tell you the truth, we’re all toxic Kate. It just shows up differently in all of us. Unfortunately it showed up on your lovely face. I’m sure that you’re already trying to detox. This will not be an overnight fix. But hang in there because you are going to feel so much better and your face will clear up! My husband and I are juicing. Juicing is a wonderful way to provide you body with the micro nutrients that it needs to detox and repair the damage. We’re drinking kale, cucumber and beets in a carrot based juice. It’s really good actually and your body will love you for it and so will your face. Juicing will help keep you alkaline too which will help elliminate the inflammation, thus the acne will start to disappear. And just like Jenny, find out what foods you are allergic to. When we eat foods that our body is allergic to, it turns into a toxin. Great, I know, just what you want to hear. You’re frowning now aren’t you? I feel you pain girl. Been there, doing that.

    Thank you so much for sharing this Kate. And please forgive me if I’ve said too much. I do not wish to invaid your personal feelings about this and I do not make it a practice to speak so openly about these things. I felt compelled to speak openly to you because I care. 🙂

      1. Fyi Kate, now that I know you live nearby, do you happen to live near “Mother’s”? That’s where we get our juice. It’s cheaper than buying all the produce and making it yourself and cheaper than whole foods. Well, who isn’t? lol. And it’s organic. Christiane Northrup is an awesome Doctor. She deals with a lot with women’s issues. I wish you the best. 🙂

  15. Kate, I know this might sound silly, but I’m going to break out of what I’ve been doing on my blog and post something about this Wednesday. I hope I don’t look like an idiot, but it’s written and I tried to make it fun. I hope it will be helpful. See ya on Wednesday! 🙂

  16. I had the same problem! As a teenager I never had pimples, and suddenly around 22/23-ish I started to get them. And then I started to get them *all the time*. And I was a picker too. I tried everything I could think of, ended up giving myself eczema because I was trying to dry my skin out so much so I wouldn’t get them, and still they wouldn’t go away. Dermatologist trips were to no avail, switching to “soapless” cleaners didn’t help, switching to all natural cleaners didn’t help.

    Once I stopped drinking a bottle of wine every weeknight, it helped. So I agree with your friend – it’s probably toxins your body is trying to get rid of! Good luck with them, and know that you are beautiful anyways! 🙂

      1. Good luck! I have found that Tea Tree Oil helps them heal faster, although not overnight. And the big bad under the skin ones seem to clear up faster with Lavender. But yeah, stay away from a bottle of wine a night too 😉

        (I’m having an affair with Tea Tree Oil in fact – I use it to brush my teeth every night. Canker Sores are another ugly thing I started suffering from around the same time, but those are from processed sugar. Cut that out of my diet and now I have lost weight and don’t suffer from cankers so much!)

  17. Fantastic post, Kate! Few are brave or confident enough to embrace their flaws, much less put them out there to inspire others.

    I used to have major issues with the most everything I saw in the mirror. I learned that my real problems laid within. Once I tackled those, through lots of self-work, therapy, etc., etc., I not only care less about what’s reflected in the mirror, but I far more like what I see. Happy, passion-pursuging people are the most beautiful, inside and out.

    1. I greatly admire your blog, August, so coming from you this is high praise indeed!

      I’m not sure if I’m brave, or if I just want to help my fellow Woman so badly that I’ll “take one for the team.” LOL

      I’ve heard so many women, writers and otherwise, who belittle themselves – some don’t even realize they’re doing it! And so many have such a terrible view of themselves… I am no expert on psychology, but I can see that the more we talk about our fears and our self-esteem issues, the better we’re able to face them and then move forward on our respective journeys.

      You are absolutely right: happy, passion-pursuing people ARE the most beautiful, inside and out! Well said 🙂

  18. Hi Kate,
    Just wanted to give you a {HUG} and hope to read that you’ve got this figured out. Our dermatologist has explained so many of the same things that others have said here – diet, especially – that I won’t add to it. However, one tidbit which my daughters have found very helpful is that the problems we see in the mirror today started 2-3 weeks before. Since you mentioned you lacked patience, I just wanted to toss that number out to you. Whatever changes you make today won’t really start to show up for another 2-3 weeks.

    I admire your transparency because I know how much courage it takes to face a fear. My struggle has been with my weight, but have had a handle on my attitude (not necessarily the weight, though, lol) and it has stopped controlling me. That’s a freeing moment and one that you will be happy you’ve made.

    Can’t wait to read your follow-up. 🙂

  19. Aww, Kate! Huge hugs to you, Sweetness. You are such an incredible woman and I love that you posted this. One, because my daughter struggles with acne and I never thought about toxins in her liver and kidneys. Like you, we thought it was hormonal, but now I have a tool to give her and maybe this will help her as well as you.

    Second, because by posting this, it’s a step toward healing your inner voice. You’re right, we tell ourselves stuff we’d never, ever tell our friends. Why do we do this? Crazy!

    Let’s just say I’m a little overweight right now and hate, hate, hate seeing pictures of myself. A few weeks ago Myndi Shafer wanted women to send her pics of us *unmade up*. I was terrified, but I did it and when she put it on her blog, I scanned past my pic, but was proud of myself that I did it. And just yesterday I posted a pic of my with my dad as my gratitude picture. My butt looks HUGE in that pic, but I love that I’m with my dad, so I put it on facebook. Huge, I’m telling you, it had it’s own zip code!

    You’re gorgeous. Don’t let that hag ever come back. Embrace your flaws indeed. They are what make us unique and gorgeous individuals. Much love you to, my WANA sista!

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