Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink.
Last week I said we’d continue this little series on fear by talking about having the courage to overcome fear.
Eh. I changed my mind. My blog, my prerogative 😛
Nope, instead we’re going to chat about the importance of words and how they can not only affect our mindsets, but also the mindsets of those around us.
Several months ago, I took an online class taught by none other than Bob Mayer. During the course, he taught us the tenets of becoming a successful writer. Check out the information on his Warrior Writer workshops here.
So, here I was, trying to be a good pupil; sitting up straight in my seat, eyes focused and clear, no gum in sight, when I zero in on what Bob is
trying to drill in our collective heads sharing with us.
First, he says when people fail to achieve their goals, it is because they have allowed fear to rule them.
Ok, that makes sense.
Then he asks, “How willing are you to change? Are you willing to learn from any source that helps you improve yourself? If you are not where you want to be, then you must change, rather than waiting for the world to come to you. Because guess what? It isn’t.”
What do you mean I have to change? Are you saying that if I sit here long enough, someone won’t walk by with the answers to all of my problems wrapped up in a little box with a neat bow?
And then he hit me.
First, he smacked me in the back of the head with “To change, you have to be willing to say the three hardest words for many people, I am wrong.” Then, he followed it with a jarring slap to the face with, “You must be willing to surrender.”
You must be willing to surrender.
You must be willing to say, “I am wrong.”
So here is where I figure Fear and Change come in.
We humans all have fears. Many of us fear change.
Last week we had some really great discussions on fear, and many of you shared yours. Since then, I’ve done a lot of thinking about my own fears. Really examining them in the harsh light…kinda like the light at the gym. Y’know, the one that insists on showing every flaw? Ugh, sometimes I wish I could smash every single—
Where was I?
Oh yeah, I, for one, have a fear not of failure itself, but of allowing myself to fail. I’m sure there is an even deeper meaning there, but I haven’t gotten to that layer within myself yet. It’s a darn good thing I’m stubborn!
As I alluded to earlier, I think the words we use and the mindsets we have are direct connections to the things we fear and the changes we need to make.
An example would be that negative person who almost always sees the glass half empty. When a positive person tries to encourage Mr. or Ms. Negative by offering suggestions or advice, they usually have an excuse as to why this suggestion or that piece of advice won’t work.
Me thinks someone’s a ‘fraidy cat.
Afraid of what? Of losing control. Of being wrong. Of letting go. Who knows, could be anything, but fear is most likely at the heart of the problem. And so, this fear triggers their mindsets, making them negative which in turn causes everything they say to be negative.
Perhaps, if they start from the opposite end, they could achieve that change without falling apart or hurting themselves. They could put positive spins on things rather than negative. A simple, “good morning” with a smile goes a long way. You’d be surprised how much your day can brighten with something as small as that. Those two words can have a powerful impact on a person’s mindset.
The more Mr. or Ms. Negative’s mindset changes for the better, the more aware they become of their words and their actions, and naturally the more positive and uplifting they will be all around.
And then, I’m guessing, being able to say, “I am wrong,” won’t be so hard.
Just a guess.
So talk to me. I want to know what all of you think about this. What do you fear? Are you open to change? What do you think about mindset and how it can affect a person’s overall personality?