Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink.
Last Saturday I had the pleasure of hanging out with my friend, Jenny Hansen. We had a glorious time chatting about a variety of things, but for the purposes of this here blog, I wanted to share a specific point of interest.
Allow me to explain. Jenny, being the inquisitive soul she is, asked about my current work in progress. While waxing on about this bit of brilliance and that bit of wonder, I thought back on the days I’d worked on the book…and all the days I didn’t. Suddenly, I blurted out, “I make a lot of excuses as to why I can’t get my writing done.”
That was the first time I’d said that out loud. To a person. To myself.
Then, for whatever reason, I just kept talking:
“Every time I manage to hit a milestone, I freak out and hit the brakes. When I told my husband I wanted to write and he didn’t look at me and start laughing hysterically, I freaked. When I let him read some of my writing, and he looked me in the eye and said, “I think we got somethin’ here,” I freaked. When I finished my manuscript roughly three months later, I freaked. I can’t figure out exactly what I’m afraid of, but I have this fear and I can’t seem to shake it.”
Needless to say, I was breathless after the verbal mess I’d just dumped in her lap.
Jenny smiled at me, sat back in her chair and said matter-of-factly with a hint of a chuckle, “Kate, you’re not special.”
You’re not special.
Now, you may be thinking: Huh? But I got it immediately. I understood exactly what she meant as soon as those words left her mouth. It was something of a slap-in-the-head moment.
That slap-in-the-head has been incredibly freeing for me. She’s absolutely right. Everyone has fears they have to deal with on a daily basis. Fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of standing up in front of the class in your undies.
I’m still not sure exactly what it is I’m afraid of…fear of potential? I don’t know. Maybe it’s a mix of fear of failure and fear of success…
The point is, knowing that I’m not the only one out there struggling to overcome my fears is so important. I went home that afternoon, jumped on my computer and printed out a little sign that I stuck on my desk right above my laptop that reads:
You Are Not Special
Who knew those four words would have such a positive impact?
In fact, I’m so inspired; I’m going to have a little series on fear. Next week, we’ll chat about having the courage to overcome fear.
So talk to me. How have you struggled with fear? Have you mastered it yet, or are you still seeking the solution? What things have you done in the past that helped you overcome your fear?