The Beauty in Me

“A woman’s beauty is in her humanity, in her great capacity to love in all its forms.”  ~ Me

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Stupid

I heard that word every day from the time I was eleven years old, until the day I decided to take back my control and my life. I was seventeen.

Beautiful

I heard that word too often from people who twisted it to mean something else entirely.  Something dirty.  Something ugly.  Something to be ashamed of.

In the years since, I have struggled with the emotions such misused words can conjure:  Shame.  Guilt. Anger.  Yearning.

Then something amazing happened.  I realized I am beautiful.

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge you’ll never walk alone.”

~ Sam Levenson

My journey didn’t happen overnight.  It’s been seventeen years in the making, and it continues today.

It has been full of lessons like trusting my abilities, believing I have something of value to offer, trusting and believing in others, accepting help from others and helping them in return.

There’ve been precious few in my life who have shown me what real beauty looks like.  Two of those are my daughters.  They are as different as two people can be, but both are stunning examples of true beauty:  Loving.  Kind.  Strong.  Honest.

My youngest especially excels at honesty; she has no problem speaking her mind ~ at any time, to anyone

Watching them grow, I am mindful of my past, careful not to make the same mistakes.  At times, it has been a challenge to battle my demons and keep my girls safe from them, though I am thankful every single day for the opportunity.

“Beauty shouldn’t be about changing yourself to achieve an ideal or be more socially acceptable. Real beauty, the interesting, truly pleasing kind, is about honoring the beauty within you and without you. It’s about knowing that someone else’s definition of pretty has no hold over you.”

~Golda Poretsky

Brilliant

This is a word that is spoken often in my house.  I tell my daughters how brilliant they are every chance I get.  And in times of doubt, I remind myself that I am brilliant.

Beautiful

I am quick to tell my girls how beautiful they are when they are loving and kind, when they are honest with themselves and others.  They are growing up understanding that beauty is much more than what is simply reflected in the mirror.

My girls gave me the courage to look myself in the mirror, and face my troubled past.  Then, one day I realized I no longer fought for just them ~ I fought for myself, as well.

Because I’m a beautiful person, inside and out.

So are you.

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So talk to me. What is your idea of inner beauty? What makes a woman beautiful?

Pantheon of Goddesses: Arnamentia

Hello boys and girls! Long time no blog. Things at the ol’ Day Job have quieted down now, so before they pick back up let’s get to it

Welcome to Tursan Tuesdays, where I take you on a journey through the Celtic world…

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**Some of the information I’ve gathered came from The Goddess Guide by Priestess Brandi Auset ~ a must read for anyone interested in Goddesses of all flavors!**

Photo Credit: Naviana

Arnamentia

Not much is known about this ancient goddess.  What we do know comes from the inscriptions the ancient Celtic people left on stones.

A solar deity, Arnamentia is the goddess of flowing water, spiritual healing and purification.  She rules over all bodies of water, from the largest oceans and lakes to the smallest rivers and streams.  It is said in times of despondency or peril she offers renewal of the mind, body and soul.

Attributes

Healing; Oceans, Rivers and Bodies of Water; Purification;

Colors

Green, Blue & White

Element

Water

Sabbats or Festivals

Yule, Imbolc, Samhain

 So talk to me.  What do you think of Arnamentia? Who is your favorite Goddess?

Don’t see your favorite goddess here? Leave me a comment and tell me who you’d like featured

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Be sure you stop by on Thursday and celebrate Beauty of a Woman with me!

Pantheon of Goddesses: Cailleach

Welcome to Tursan Tuesdays, where I take you on a journey through the Celtic world…

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**Some of the information I’ve gathered came from The Goddess Guide by Priestess Brandi Auset ~ a must read for anyone interested in Goddesses of all flavors!**

Courtesy: GlobalGoddessOracle.com

Cailleach

In the spirit of this Samhain [SOW-en] season, I thought it only fitting to introduce the goddess Cailleach [KAU-lauk (Give the end “k” a little phlegm. It sounds like “ick” or like the ch in loch)].

Cailleach is Scottish for “hag.” Nice, huh? Skeletal, blue-faced and carrying a staff or hammer, she rules winder from Samhain to Bealltainn [BYAUL-tinn (soft on the "t")].

It is said Cailleach created the mountains, hills and valleys by dropping rocks from her apron as she passed by. She then began using these formations as stepping-stones during her travels.

She is the protectress of wolves and deer, and in some traditions is considered to be counter-part to the goddess, Brighid, ruler of spring from Bealltainn to Samhain.

While Cailleach is known as a great sorceress, healer and midwife, she conversely is also bringer of nightmares, terrors and death. Best to stay on her good side.

Attributes

Confidence; Darkness; Death; Destruction; Disease; Magical Brewing; Mountains; Night; Power; Seasons; Spell casting; Transformation; The Underworld; Weather; and Wisdom

Colors

Blue, Purple, Black, & Silver

Elements

Air & Water

Sabbats or festivals

Samhain, Yule, Imbolc, & Ostara

So talk to me.  What do you think of Cailleach? Who is your favorite Goddess?

Don’t see your favorite goddess here? Have something in particular you’d like me to share? Leave me a comment!

Happy New Year!

A special post today.. I’d wanted to share this two weeks ago. Fate had other plans for me.

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Hallowe’en, All Souls Day, Day of the Dead, Hallowtide, Lá Samhna, Old Hallowmas…

Credit: Navanna

In Celtic tradition, each day begins at sundown just as each year begins with the onset of winter. The eve of October 30th through the eve of November 1st marks the end of one year, and the beginning of another. The Celts celebrate this ending and beginning with one of their most important ancient festivals, or Sabbats ~ Samhain [SOW-en].

Samhain is Irish, meaning “summer’s end.” It represents the third and final harvest of the year. It is a time of celebrating hard work, of deep reflection, and of releasing that which no longer holds value.

In the season of Samhain, roughly October 31st through December 20th, the Horned God passes from one world to the next and awaits his rebirth through The Mother Goddess. In Crone form, The Goddess prepares for her birthing of the Horned God during the Winter Solstice. In some traditions, the god Dagda and goddess Morrígan come together, and through their intercourse, provide well-being for that particular tribe and fertility for the surrounding lands.

The night of Samhain is also the time of the wild hunt, when the veil between the worlds is thinnest and the faeries, the dead, and otherworldly spirits roam the land. This is the time when the faeries plot to steal away humans, and the dead visit their loved ones still living. Those who were murdered, wronged or awaiting justice that had not been given them in life can exact their revenge on Samhain night.

It is said that one of the reasons for such a sense of mysticism and fear on Samhain was the difficulty in predicting the weather during this time of year. Regardless how well they planned, the Celts could never be sure they had enough food and other provisions to see them through the winter. In the years that had early snows, it was believed the spirits had expressed their anger toward the mortals by ruining the surrounding flora.

Many of you know that it is from this ancient Sabbat that our Halloween came from. Other cultures had similar festivals, such as Calan Gaeaf in Wales, Ancestor Night or Feast of the Dead in Britain, Oidhche Shamna in Scotland, and Hollantide Day in Isle of Man.

Samhain night, or even during the season, was not only a time of reflection and reverence, it was also a time to ask the gods and goddesses for guidance and protection. Some of the fun rituals practiced were:

• Bobbling for Apples ~ This symbolizes the apples of eternal life found on Manannán mac Lir‘s sacred isle
• Burning Nuts in the Hearth ~ Your future husband or occupation could be determined based upon which nuts explode and which do not
• Interpretations ~ Pour molten lead into cool water – the different shapes swirling around will tell you different things about your future
• Soddag Valloo, or dumb cakes ~ Baking and eating these on Samhain night will bring prophetic dreams

Some other superstitions prevalent on Samhain night include turning your clothes inside out to prevent faerie mischief, and wearing a stone found near water with a natural hole in it to ward off evil spirits. For those that experienced various mishaps, remember this for next year.

Fun fact ~ Babies born on Samhain night are thought to possess prophetic powers

So talk to me. Were you born on Samhain night? Do you have stories of Samhain traditions, folklore or rituals? What did you do on Halloween? Did anything interesting happen that night?

Pantheon of Goddesses: Ériu

Welcome to Tursan Tuesdays, where I take you on a journey through the Celtic world…

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**Some of the information I’ve gathered came from The Goddess Guide by Priestess Brandi Auset ~ a must read for anyone interested in Goddesses of all flavors!**

Credit: Marly Mathews

Ériu, Éire, Erin

Ériu, daughter of Ernmas and The Dagda (High King of the Tuatha Dé Danann), wife of Mac Gréine is part of the triumvirate of Sovereignty Goddesses.  Her sisters are Banba and Fodla.

This triple deity brings to mind – and is often associated with – another triple deity, that of Macha, Badb, and Morrígan.  In fact, Ériu is often directly associated with Morrígan.

And you know how much I love me some Morrígan

The Sovereignty Goddesses were the Queens of Ireland, each married to a warrior of the Tuatha Dé Danann.  After the arrival and subsequent conquering of Ireland by the Milesians, the three queens asked that their names be used to represent the land.  Ériu was the one mainly used, while the land was romanticized with Banba and Fodla’s names in later poetry and storytelling.

Attributes

Authority; Civilization; Magical Arts; Oaths; Sisterhood; and Victory

Colors

Green & Blue

Element

Earth

Sabbats or festivals

Imbolc

 So talk to me.  What do you think of Ériu? Who is your favorite Goddess?

Don’t see your favorite goddess here? Leave me a comment!

Hey…What’s Your Sign?

Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink ~ and everything in between!

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Remko van Dokkum

Like many people, I’ve always been fascinated by Astrology.  Something about looking to the heavens for answers, and wondering if our lives are preordained or governed by some force outside ourselves…I love the wonder and the mystery of it.

Now, I have to say, I’m not one- hundred-percent a believer. I have quite the skeptical side. Ok, well, I’m probably more believer than skeptic, but I do question a lot

I lean more toward the believer side of the scale because my personality fits the astrological description of my birth sign so snugly.  Allow me to clarify…

I’m a Sagittarius

Those who know me can vouch for my honesty – sometimes brutal in both its delivery and directness – my integrity, my loyalty, and my strict sense of right and wrong.

And, those same people would also fall over themselves to tell you of my irresponsibility, my spontaneity, and my child-like curiosity for everything around me.

I’m very open-minded, sometimes to the point where my focus is so broad, I can’t take in all that I’m trying to see. I strongly believe that everything should be fair, but sometimes in trying to affect all this fairness, I invariably forget someone (most of the time, myself). I love to be social, as long as I’m not the center of attention or  the hostess

Credit: satiama.com

Now let’s see what the stars say about me:

Dear Sagittarius, you are strong-willed, gregarious, and fun-loving. You can also be a diplomat when it is in your own interests. (What! How very self-serving of me) With your sharp mind and ability to go straight to the heart of a matter, you are excellent at problem solving (that’s right). If inspired, you may need to express yourself in a creative way and seek recognition through the worlds of theater, art, music or writing (well, how ’bout that?). When overly confident or moody, avoid being cynical or using your sharp tongue to create tension or disputes.

Positive Traits: Knowledgeable, Responsibility to Home & Family, Integrity, Intuitive, Social, Cooperative, Insightful

Negative Traits: Worrier, Never satisfied, Irresponsible (See? Told ya), Opinionated (Who? Me?), Skeptical (Called it!), Fussy (haha), Irritable, Unsympathetic

Well *cough* that was a bit more painful than I expected.

Oh, and I have the same birthday as Jane Austen – nanananananaaaa  :P

So talk to me. What’s your sign? Describe the similarities or differences between yourself and your sign in the comments below. What do you think about Astrology? Are you a believer, a skeptic or both?

Pantheon of Godesses: Danu

Welcome to Tursan Tuesdays, where I take you on a journey through the Celtic world…

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**Some of the information I’ve gathered came from The Goddess Guide by Priestess Brandi Auset ~ a must read for anyone interested in Goddesses of all flavors!**

Credit: Navanna Janne Eikeblad

Danu, Dana, Danand, Anu, Don

Danu (meaning: knowledge) is the mother of all gods.  She is predominately an Irish goddess, though she also appears in Hindu mythology.  An entire race of people was descended from her ~ the Tuatha Dé Danann, or People of Danu.  More on them in a later post

A goddess of the rivers and of the earth, it is said the rivers Danube and Don are named for her.  But she didn’t stop there—a mountainous region on the planet Venus was named Danu Montes, and you’ll see there she’s in good company.

I love a woman with ambition.

The goddess Danu is the Creation Goddess.  She is all-encompassing: the beginning and the end, the Maiden and the Crone, the Light and the Dark, the known and the unknown.

Danu rules over the following attributes:

Abundance; Chaos; Cosmos; Creation & Creativity; Fertility; Healing; Heaven; Learning; Light Magic; Manifestation; Motherhood; Mysteries; Nature; New Beginnings; Oceans, Rivers & Bodies of Water; Prosperity; Sky; Sorceress; Students & Studying; Transformation; The Underworld; War & Battles; and Wisdom

Danu’s colors are Orange, Green, Blue, Black, White, and Silver

Danu rules over the elements of Water, Earth & Air

Danu is associated with the following Sabbats or festivals: Yule, Imbolc, Lammas, & Mabon

So talk to me.  What do you think of Danu? Who is your favorite Goddess?

If you have a specific Goddess you would like to see featured here ~ even if she isn’t Celtic ~ let me know!

Author Spotlight: Susanna Kearsley

Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink ~ and everything in between!

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I have been an avid reader since around the age of 14.  If left alone – which never happens these days – I can easily consume one 400pg novel in a day or two, depending on the story.

Since I began writing, and learning the craft from experts such as James Scott Bell, Larry Brooks, and Randy Ingermanson, it has become more of a challenge for me to find books that pull me in and don’t let go ’til The End. More often than not, it will take me a few weeks to finish a book, simply because I can put it down.

This was most definitely not the case with Susanna Kearsley‘s THE SHADOWY HORSES.

http://www.susannakearsley.com

THE SHADOWY HORSES is a story set in Eyemouth, a small town in Scotland near the border with England. An aging archaeologist, Peter Quinnell - whose life’s pursuit of Rome’s lost Ninth Legion has all but consumed him - suavely and subtly persuades Verity Grey, a finds expert, to join a small crew to excavate a field which he believes is the site where the Ninth met its doom.

On her way north from London, Verity meets David Fortune. Ahhh, Davy. A big, strapping Scotsman with black, curly hair, blue eyes, and engaging smile. I fell in love the moment I saw him walking through the mist toward her bus. He’s a man’s man, and quite simply the perfect hero for this story.

During the course of the few days Verity is in Eyemouth to consider Peter’s offer, she meets an unforgettable cast of characters that are deep and rich, and come off the page alive and in full color. The most endearing is Robbie, a little boy with the gift of second sight, who acts as a translator of sorts for The Sentinel – a ghost with a purpose.

Of course, Verity decides to stay within a few minutes of meeting Peter. What follows is a thrilling and wonderful story of mystery, intrigue, and love.

I cannot say enough about this book. Notably, I read it in two days – that’s while working my full-time job, going to the gym, taking care of my family, working on my own book AND writing up a few blog posts. That is definitely saying something.

As I said above, all of the characters are full dimensional and deep. The dialogue is outstanding; you are there, with the characters, hearing their voices and their tones. It was, quite simply, an amazing experience.

I can’t wait for my lunch break so I can go buy another of her books

If you have not yet had a chance to read this book, either buy it online or run over to your nearest bookstore and grab it. It is a MUST read. Now, get it now.

So talk to me. Have you read THE SHADOWY HORSES? What did you think of it? What is your favorite book by Susanna (she also writes as Emma Cole)

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UPDATE: After I wrote this post and got it in the cue, I was leisurely perusing Susanna Kearsley’s website – because I am now wholly obsessed – and I saw something about a new book in the twitter feed she has running there.  I clicked on the link, and you will not believe what I found!

I swear I had no idea, but Susanna has re-released THE SHADOWY HORSES as of October 1, 2012! This site gives an interview and an excerpt from it. Wait – it gets better. Her new book, FIREBIRD, features Robbie, the little boy in THE SHADOWY HORSES – and he’s all grown up! Iamsoexcited! I cannot wait until May 2013!!

Pantheon of Goddesses: Momu

Welcome to Tursan Tuesdays, where I take you on a journey through the Celtic world…

**Some of the information I’ve gathered came from The Goddess Guide by Priestess Brandi Auset ~ a must read for anyone interested in goddesses of all flavors!**

I have a special treat for you today ~ a little-known goddess, who goes by the name Momu…

Source: vampgyrl420.hubpages.com

Momu

Momu, a minor goddess in Scotland, rules the land, specifically hillsides and mountains.  Earthy caves and wells are symbols for Momu as power within the female form.

Part of Faery, Momu has authority over elemental earth and water.

Momu rules over the following attributes:

Bodies of Water (including Oceans & Rivers), Magical Brewing, Mysteries, and Purification

Momu’s colors are Red, Green, Blue, Black, and Brown

So, now the next time you’re curled up watching Braveheart you know who to thank for those incredible panoramic scenes

So talk to me.  I enjoy not only finding new information on well-known deities, but also sharing those that are not so well-known.  Are you familiar with the Scottish goddess, Momu?

If you have a specific Goddess you would like to see featured here ~ even if she isn’t Celtic ~ let me know!

Going Back To Basics

 

Welcome to Rudan Thursdays where we talk about…things! Anything from books and movies, to blog posts and authors, to food and drink ~ and everything in between!

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Yesterday was my mom’s birthday. She passed away over three and a half years ago. I think about her every day. Every single day.

Many of you have noticed my absence these last few months. This post by Roni Loren scared the **** out of me. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I literally did nothing.

I have to be honest with you – I’m not a huge fan of blogging.

Oh, stop, it’s not like that.

I am a perfectionist; it makes me crazy writing these posts. English was my favorite class in school…I work in the legal field…these, combined with my fear of failure (and success), make it quite a challenge to get them perfect.

I agonize over every word – is it the right word for what I’m trying to convey? I stress out over every punctuation – should that be a question or a statement? I search and search and search for the perfect images to complement the tone or subject of my posts. I even spend too much time wondering when the best time to publish my post is.

It’s exhausting.

So what does this have to do with my mom? I’ve been thinking a lot about what she would tell me about all of this. My mom was one of those moms (like me, and many others lol) who thought that her child was 100% perfect in every way. The fact that I stood upright, spoke, and blinked was enough to make my mom swell with pride. While she was alive, it was sometimes exasperating, sometimes funny. Now, remembering makes the loss of her that much sharper, more poignant.

What would my mom say? She would tell me that I’m brilliant just for trying. She would tell me how outstanding (that was her word for everything I did) my blog is. She would also tell me – as would marketing experts – since I want to be published one of the things I need to do as a writer, besides writing, is get my name out there—and this blog, among other things, can do that.

She would give me a hug, tell me I’m an outstanding writer, and put my big girl pants on.

And stop punishing myself.

And post when I have something to post.

And not worry about it after that.

As a good friend of mine recently said: I’m a writer who blogs, not a blogger who writes  Besides, how will any of you get to read my books if I’m spending more time perfecting posts instead of polishing manuscripts?

That said, I will do my very best to keep to my Tuesday & Thursday schedule, but if I’m busy writing, or busy with my family, or busy learning from geniuses like James Scott Bell and Larry Brooks, then the post will have to wait.

Besides, you’re a laid back bunch, I know you’ll forgive my lapses

So talk to me. Do you ever feel pressured to be perfect? What do you do about it?

(I’m trying so hard not to focus on how many times I typed the word “write” in this post…lol)